Captain Diabetes
Captain Diabetes is the alter-ego of Scott Malkinson in ''South Park: The Fractured But Whole''.'' Appearance and Personality "''As Captain Diabetes, Scott Malkinson calls upon the devastating power of diabetes. Captain Diabetes is a Brutalist archetype who combines punishing melee knockback moves with an annoying desire to hang out." - Character Sheet description Most of the superheroes aimed to create a franchise, some dedicated themselves to fight crimes(Call Girl, Mysterion), and the New Kid whose purpose is largely unknown. Captain Diabetes, however, seems to consider himself a "traditional" hero who starts out small, working to protect the citizens of South Park from all threats...even themselves. He confiscates Randy Marsh's car keys to prevent him from driving while drunk, even promising to return them when Randy is sober.(though according to Randy, he couldn't find his keys even when he was sober, the Captain might have forgotten the issue or has decided to keep it until Randy stopped drinking at night) By his own admission, he's difficult to anger unless he takes much sugar, this is dangerous as he may be plunged into a state of diabetic shock. However, there are two things that will upset him without side effects in short order; being farted upon (which the New Kid exploits to set off his Diabetic Rage without the use of sugar) and hearing people claim that he got diabetes by being farted upon. History (IN-PROGRESS) Captain Diabetes sides with Coon and Friends for most of the Civil War with the Freedom Pals. He is introduced during Night 1, with The Coon assigning The New Kid as his sidekick for their mission to track down a lead on the Scrambles case; all they have to go on is that she's "a stripper with a dick tattoo". The Bowels of the Beast After meeting the New Kid outside the latter's house, Captain Diabetes leads him through the neighborhood towards the home of Human Kite, where they can use a shortcut to reach their real target. Along the way, they find Randy Marsh keying his wife's car in a drunken stupor; when he expresses his intent to drive up to the liquor store, Captain Diabetes confiscates his keys. This forces him and the New Kid into a fight with the drunken Randy; after defeating him, they continue to Kite's base (the attic of his house) and use a zipline to reach the north side of South Park. After warning the New Kid to be careful, since South Park is "a different place at night", Captain Diabetes brings his sidekick to the local strip club: The Peppermint Hippo. With the front entrance barred by a bouncer, they sneak in through the window in the men's washroom. After extracting information from a pair of VIP Johns (and then beating them up) and tricking the DJ into abandoning his turntable for a moment (by giving him a drink tainted with boogers, cum, rat feces, and the New Kid's farts), they finally find their target: Classi, who immediately attempts to escape through the staff room. Captain Diabetes and the New Kid are forced to deal with Classi's stripper coworkers, including the massive Spontaneous Bootay. Having defeated the strippers, Captain Diabetes and the New Kid followed Classi to the side door of the Italian restaurant, Buka de Faggoncini. In panic, a guard in front of the door took a shot to the sky to pose a threat to Captain Diabetes, only to hit a huge sign that dropped and killed himself. To lift the sign, Captain Diabetes drank another box of apple juice, however, the attempt to move the sign hopelessly failed, and the Captain, who was in short of insulin, went into a diabetic shock, fell and was in a coma. When Captain Diabetes was about to die, the New Kid ate an enchirito which was crafted in Freeman's Tacos, then the New Kid executed a powerful time fart "glitch", with it, the sign was restored and both the guard and the Captain was resurrected. In shock, the guard run into the restaurant. Appalled, Captain Diabetes praised the amazing time fart power of the New Kid, afterwards, he called the Coon, requested for back up, before entering the restaurant, where he and the New Kid met up with the rest of the Coon Friends. . (MORE TO COME) Combat As a Brutalist, Captain Diabetes specializes in dealing heavy damage at close range. His abilities make him surprisingly versatile as long as he has a foe in range, enabling him to control the position of himself and his foes, bolster his defenses with Protection effects, and inflict heavy damage to multiple enemies at a time. If used properly, he can become a nearly self-sufficient fighter who pierces enemy lines to wreak diabetes-fueled havoc. His field ability is Diabetic Rage, which allows him to move heavy objects indicated by a green base. Abilities * High-Fructose Death Wave - Ultimate - Brutalizes and knocks back foes. * Coma Combo - Brutal double-punch with knockback. * Sugar Rush - A Dash attack that grants Protection. * Insulin Shock - Knock back and Slow foes, and gains protection (Similar to Brutalist’s Gastro Smash ability). Quests Given * The Bowels of the Beast Quotes Field/Story * "HOLY GUACAMOLE! What is this?!" * "COON! COON, COME IN!" * "There's someone in there. Get ready... One. Two. Diabetes!" * "The jig is up, Classi!" * "That is NOT how people get diabetes!" * "Uh oh..." * "YOU are in no good condition to drive!" Battle * Selected ** "The Captain is in!" ** "Captain Diabetes!" ** "To battle!" * Battle start, versus strippers ** "Stand down, ladies! We're here for Classi!" * Turn start ** "My turn!" ** "Diabetes time!" ** "Here we go!" ** "Captain on deck!" ** "Captain Diabetes prepares to strike!" ** "Captain Diabetes is back in action!" ** "Duty calls!" ** "Captain Diabetes, into the fray!" ** "You're no match for Captain Diabetes!" ** "ONE! TWO! DIABETESSSS!!!!" ** "Juice, give me strength!" ** "I will defeat you!" ** "Oh, I'm up? Sorry, I'm a little lightheaded." ** "Behold the true power of Diabetes!" * Turn start, before end of The Bowels of the Beast ** "Watch and learn, Sidekick!" ** "You're no match for Captain Diabetes and his trusty Sidekick!" ** "Stand back, Sidekick! I'll take care of this!" ** "I'll hold them off, Sidekick!" * First turn start, versus Brad and Roger ** "Let's expedite this combat, Sidekick! Classi can't wait!" * Turn start, versus Brad and Roger ** "You got your dance, you smelly old men. No refunds!" * Turn start, versus strippers ** "There's no reason for this to get ugly!" ** "Hepatitis is no match for the power of Diabetes!" * Turn start, versus chefs ** "Sorry to break up the pizza party!" * Turn start, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "I will save you from yourself!" * Self or New Kid turn start ** "Now you're gonna get it." * Call Girl turn start ** "I'm sure everyone on the message boards is rooting for you, Call Girl!" * New Kid turn start ** "I'm counting on you, partner!" ** "Show them what you're made of, Butthole!" ** "You've got this, Butthole!" * New Kid turn start, versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "Stop him, Sidekick!" ** "Attack!" * New Kid turn start, before end of The Bowels of the Beast ** "You can't stand up to my trusty Sidekick!" ** "Show them what you're made of, Sidekicksic" ** "Take them down, Sidekick!" ** "Get them, Sidekick!" ** "Go on, Sidekick! Kick their ass!" * New wave, versus strippers ** "We can't let her get away, Sidekick!" ** "We need to get to Classi before the stripper horde overwhelms us!" ** "Keep heading towards Classi!" ** "Press on, Sidekick!" ** "We've got to catch Classi! Down the hallway, Sidekick, quickly!" ** "Head for the end of the hallway!" * Idle ** "Hmm, what to do..." ** "I must strategize carefully." ** "It sure is great hanging out with you guys." * Idle versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "We must save this citizen... from himself!" * Ally idle ** "Is it my turn yet?" ** "Did you guys know insulin comes from pigs?" ** "I don't know why everyone doesn't use insulin to gain super strength." * Ally idle, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "We'll never give you your keys! NEVER!" * Toolshed idle ** "You gonna go, Stan?" * After attacking ** "Oh, wow. You see what I just did, guys?" ** "Pretend that really hurt. My friends are watching." * After attacking stripper ** "Do you think she's OK? Don't tell Coon I said that." * After self or ally attacking Drunk Randy Marsh ** "You really need to sign up for AA, Mr. Marsh." * After using Coma Combo ** "That's how Captain Diabetes deals with personal-space invaders!" ** "And let THAT be your lesson to never underestimate the power of Diabetes!" * After using Coma Combo and Insulin Shock ** "Don't you know how to read a room? Next time leave before things get awkward." * Using Sugar Rush ** "Diabeetus!" ** "Sugar Rush!" ** "Diabetes coming through!" ** "Sugaaaaaaaaaar ruuuuuuuuuush!" ** "Make way for Diabetes!" ** "Sugar Ruuuuuuussh!" ** "Sugar SMASH!" ** "This is for my own good." ** "I feel sugar coursing through my veins!" * Using Sugar Rush, versus strippers ** "Coming through, ladies." * Using Sugar Rush, Insulin Shock, and High-Fructose Death Wave ** "Hell yes!" ** "Yeah!" ** "Smash!" ** "Take this!" * After using Sugar Rush ** "Punching, for great justice!" ** "That's got the old insulin pump pumping!" ** "You clearly deserved that." * After using Sugar Rush versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "I'm shielded!" ** "Now I've got a shield that will absorb damage!" * After using Sugar Rush and Insulin Shock ** "Maybe we can be pals after you check out of the E.R..." ** "See guys! Captain Diabetes is cool!" * Using Insulin Shock ** "Take a load on!" ** "Insulin shock!" ** "Diabetic rage!" ** "Insulin flows through me!" ** "Diabetes Rage!" ** "Rage!" ** "Feel the power of Diabetes!" * After using Insulin Shock ** "You need to make better friends. Hey, I'm available!" * Using High-Fructose Death Wave ** "High-Fructose Death Wave!" ** "I'm not responsible for what happens next!" * Healed ** "Show 'em who's boss!" ** "Oh, thanks!" ** "I feel like a million bucks!" * After ally attacking ** "Brutal! But deserved!" ** "Impressive move, hero!" ** "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain." ** "They'll want to apply some light pressure to those wounds." * After ally attacking Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "I'm keeping your keys, and that's final." * After Call Girl using Selfie-Stick Strike ** "Back up those photos! They will be historical documents after we save the town!" * After Call Girl using Blocked ** "Ha! That combatant will have to go play outside now." * After the Coon using Coon Lunge ** "They should've moved if they didn't want to get all scratched up." * After Human Kite using Laser Burn ** "Keep fighting the good fight, Human Kite!" * After Mosquito attacking ** "You should really swab your mouth-tube thing down with alcohol between meals." ** "The old slurp and swap. Nice one, Mosquito!" ** "If that doesn't make them reevaluate their life choices, well nothing will." * After Mysterion using Dark Whisper ** "You really put the fear of Mysterion into him, Mysterion." * After New Kid attacking ** "Well done, Butthole!" ** "I like your style, New Kid!" ** "Show them who's boss, New Kid." ** "Butthole's busting some butts!" ** "Striking a blow for justice! I love it!" ** "Yuck. I wouldn't wish that on anyone." ** "Nice one, New Kid!" * After Professor Chaos using Chaos Blast ** "You creamed him with Chaos!" ** "Well struck, Professor!" * After Professor Chaos using Hammer of Chaos ** "Must feel good to get all that Chaos out of your system, Professor!" * After Toolshed using Drillslinger ** "I've got lots of tools at my house. Want to go play with my dad's table saw?" * After using a Timefart, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "Zounds! You've done it again, ButtLord!" * Targeted by Kite Shield ** "Thanks!" ** "Hey, thanks!" * Defeating enemy ** "Hah, I got 'em!" * Enemy defeated ** "We got these guys!" ** "Hah! These guys are no match for us!" ** "You lose, you snooze." ** "Nighty-night." ** "Captain Diabetes approves!" * Human Kite 2 defeated ** "And that's what you get when you mess with Captain Diabetes!" * Stripper defeated ** "Another beauty bites the dust!" ** "We're really very sorry it had to come to violence, ladies!" * Healing ** "We need you to stay lucid!" * Healing item on ally ** "Here!" * Healed ** "Oh yeah, that's what I needed." * Reviving ** "On your feet, soldier." * Attacked ** "Well struck, combatant! But Diabetes will prevail!" ** "Your attacks only fuel my rage!" ** "Stop hitting me! I bruise easy!" * Attacked by Brad or Roger ** "Hey! Didn't your parents teach you not to hit strippers?" * Attacked by stripper ** "Get to cover! It's rainin' pussy!" * Ally attacked ** "That doesn't look so good." ** "Leave our friend alone, fiend!" ** "The nerve of that villain!" * New Kid attacked by stripper ** "Whoa, mama! Lay off my sidekick!" * Ally defeated ** "Aw, man." * Ally defeated, before joining Freedom Pals ** "Captain Diabetes will avenge you, fellow Coon and Friend!" * New Kid defeated ** "I will avenge you, Butthole!" * New Kid defeated, versus Brad and Roger ** "Oh no! Sidekick! I never should have made you do a lap dance!" * Ally Bleeding ** "Someone's feeling pretty woozy right about now, and for once it's not me!" * Enemy Enraged ** "That's got 'em a little stirred up..." * Enemy Shocked ** "Oh, you should be shocked, villains!" * Enemy Slowed ** "Say, you've put on some weight." * Victory ** "Retribution, but with Inclusion!" ** "For truth, justice, and everyone who's ever hung out with me!" * Victory, versus Brad and Roger ** "See the manager if you have any complaints about your lap-dance experience at the Peppermint Hippo, gentlemen. Adieu." * Dialogue ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start *** Randy: "GIVE ME MY GODDAMN KEYS!" Captain Diabetes: "I'm afraid that's impossible!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start, first turn *** Randy: "Oh hey, the wife needs me to pick up some feminine products, so keys, please." Captain Diabetes: "Like...bubble bath?" Randy: "Gimme my FUCKIN' KEEYS!" *** Randy: "We could all go to the store together! YOU...you drive!" Captain Diabetes: "I will not break the law, sir." Randy: "Gimme my FUCKIN' KEEYS!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start, second turn *** Randy: "Hey, I think I dropped my keys. Anyone seen 'em?" Captain Diabetes: "I have confiscated them, sir." ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh using Fist Magic *** Randy: "Wait, why are we fighting again?" Captain Diabetes: "I have made a citizen's arrest of your keys." Randy: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" *** Randy: "I'm fine to drive! I'm fi- OK... OK... OK... Now I'm fine." Captain Diabetes: "You should be fine to drive at approximately 11 AM tomorrow." Randy: "It's 11 AM somewhere!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, after Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh using Party Foul *** Randy: "OK there. I wasn't good to drive...before, but now I am. Thanks for... Thanks for having my back, now let me have my key." Captain Diabetes: "I'm sorry, but I stand by my previous assessment of your fitness to operate machinery." ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh defeated *** Randy: "I'll get those keys right after this short little nap." Captain Diabetes: "Good night, Mr. Marsh!" ** With chef, chef using Tenderizer *** Chef: "Hey kid, you ever been spatchcocked before?" Captain Diabetes: "I don't like the sound of that!" ** With the Coon, after the Coon using Coon Pounce *** Captain Diabetes: "Looking sharp, Coon!" The Coon: "Damn right, Diabetes." ** With Fastpass, Fastpass attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "What kind of juice do you drink? 'Cause I'll have whatever you're having." Fastpass: "Sorry, Captain Diabetes. That's top secret." ** With Human Kite, after ally attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain." Human Kite: "Podiatrist? Is he like the Alfred to your Batman?" ** With Human Kite, after attacking Human Kite, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** Captain Diabetes: "I hope that didn't hurt too badly, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Well, it did." ** With Professor Chaos, after using Coma Combo *** Professor Chaos: "Well, you must spend all day pumping iron, Cap." Captain Diabetes: "Nah, I'm just naturally swole." ** With Professor Chaos, after using Sugar Rush *** Professor Chaos: "I don't know how you do it, Captain!" Captain Diabetes: "We should hang out more often. I'd love to show you." ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, battle start *** Captain Diabetes: "You're being unreasonable, Mr. Marsh. Let me call your wife." Randy: "Leave Sharon outta this, you little prick!" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, turn start *** Randy: "Wait, wait, wait! I'm uh... I'm a diabetic too, so don't hit me!" Captain Diabetes: "Captain Diabetes does not make special arrangement for diabetic villains!" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, Red Wine Drunk Randy defeated *** Randy: "All right, I'm gonna take a cab." Captain Diabetes: "There! Nobody drinks and drives on Captain Diabetes' watch." ** With Super Craig, Super Craig turn start *** Captain Diabetes: "Knock their lights out!" Super Craig: "Lights, teeth, whatever." ** With Super Craig, attacked *** Super Craig: "You know how to take a hit, Diabetes." Captain Diabetes: "Thanks for noticing, Super Craig!" ** With Toolshed, ally idle *** Captain Diabetes: "Hey, you guys wanna watch a movie at my place after this? Stan?" Toolshed: "Uh... Nah dude I'm busy, sorry." Captain Diabetes: "How about tomorrow?" *** Captain Diabetes: "Did you guys know insulin comes from pigs?" Toolshed: "Cool, Scott." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Drillslinger *** Captain Diabetes: "Captain Diabetes salutes you, Toolshed!" Toolshed: "Yeah, OK...thanks." * Unused ** "My goodness." * Unsorted ** Captain Diabetes: "You and me should do some of that crossfit stuff, Super Craig." Super Craig: "I would rather die." Gallery 20180130094713_1.jpg|In-game splash image of Captain Diabetes. 20180224175740 1.jpg|Captain Diabetes restraining General Disarray as Mosquito pecks away on him in the mission 'The Hundred Hands of Chaos'. 20180212110438_1.jpg|Captain Diabetes unlocked as an Ally during the start of the mission 'The Bowels of the Beast'. lap dancing.jpg|Captain Diabetes in the middle of a lap dance post dancing.jpg|Captain Diabetes extracting information after the lap dance Triggering Diabetic Rage.jpg|Triggering Diabetic Rage without sugar for the first time Trivia * Captain Diabetes is a parody of The Hulk, relying on surges of anger to give himself incredible strength. * Captain Diabetes was likely a part of the Freedom Pals earlier in development of the game, as he stands with the Freedom Pals when Doctor Timothy's franchise plan is revealed. In the trailers, he is not with Coon and Friends when Cartman suggests infiltration into the Freedom Pals' base. * Captain Diabetes is the only Coon Friend to ever say "Retribution but with inclusion" after the victory. * Captain Diabetes is immune to Morgan Freeman’s Glistening Freckles attack, likely due to him having freckles himself. * Captain Diabetes is the only Coon Friend without a house for him to reside. However a tip suggests that he has invited the New Kid to come to his house and play. Category:South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Characters Category:Male characters Category:Heroes Category:Characters voiced by Matt Stone Category:Characters in South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Coon and Friends Category:4th Graders Category:Buddies